Case 8.5, File 08: Maximum Beyers

AKA: So We're Just Naming Episodes After The Gunmen Even If It Doesn't Make Sense Huh?

One of the problems with making a move to direct comedy is that it limits the subjects you can realistically cover. That's not to say that comedy can't address certain themes, it definitely can. It just means that, the more serious the issue you're address, the more difficult a tightrope walk you're on. If you fuck up a serious subject in a serious movie, eh at least you're taking the subject seriously, and you can usually skate on by (unless you REALLY fuck it up). But if you fuck up a serious subject in a comedy, then you're not just fucking up, you're "Making light of it."

Our episode opens with the Lone Gunmen on a cruise ship, trying to figure out if the Elvis impersonator on the ship is actually Elvis. It turns out he's actually a dude hiding out from embezzlement charges. In case you're wondering if this ever comes back or matters in the episode, it does not. So rather than move on with the plot summary, I'm gonna make you sit here and imagine a much better episode about the Lone Gunmen harassing Elvis impersonators. Imagining it? Okay, on with the plot.

Anyway, back at the hideout the group meet a Mrs. Pfeiffer who is a huge fan of theirs and whose son Douglas is on death row for a killing she's sure he didn't commit. He's stopped fighting the charges, is pushing for an execution date and won't speak to anyone but his lawyer, Mr. Wash. Believe it or not, the person lying to them is not the one claiming to be a big fan of theirs. Anyway, she wants them to talk to her son, to get him to get back to fighting the charges.

The Gunmen are initially skeptical, but after some prodding from Jimmy, they agree to help. Specifically they agree to help by having Jimmy and Beyers pretend to be prisoners and get locked up so they can talk to Douglas. Once they get there they find that Douglas is in the infirmary from getting beat by the guards, and also that prison, uh lemme check my notes here...sucks. Prison fucking sucks, that's what they learn.

I like to think the Gunmen are famous for constantly harassing Elvis impersonators.

Anyway, on the outside, Frohike and Langly are doing some digging into the case, but the only guy they meet says he saw Douglas do it. Also Yves shows up, basically out of nowhere, and agrees to help (and berates them for sneaking Beyers and Jimmy in as prisoners instead of like, guards) and sneaks in a thing to let Jimmy communicate with the guys. Meanwhile, Beyers has decided that the best way to get into the infirmary is to make fun of another prisoner in a way he was warned not to and get the shit beat out of him.

But once he can talk to Douglas, Douglas tells him to get bent and once they can communicate with Jimmy, Frohike and Langly fill him in as to why; They found a bunch of money in his account around the time of the murder and eventually trace some money his mom is getting to his lawyer. And his lawyer was trying to buy up some land the guy who died was refusing to sell, so I think we all know where this is going; The lawyer hired Douglas as a contract killer and he's agreeing to keep quiet about it in exchange for the lawyer taking care of Douglas' mom.

But there's another prisoner in there who was framed for another of Douglas' murder (of course), and who turns out to be a prisoner Jimmy was bonding with (of course). Around this point, Wash figures out the Gunmen are onto him, and sends another prisoner to off Douglas before he can talk, as that's the only hope they have of freeing the innocent man. But it turns out sending the assassin pisses Douglas off royally, so he talks, Jimmy and Beyers get free along with the innocent prisoner and everyone is happy. Except for Douglas and his mom, cause Douglas still gets executed. But not everyone can be happy.

Maximum Beyers (god that's a bad name) is probably one of the weakest episode of The Lone Gunmen, although not because it fails to address a serious issue. I mean it does, but that's not the reason. No the reason is the episode can't really decide if it's going in the more silly, farcical tone of some of the other good episodes, or if it's going to be a serious prison drama. That kind of tonal tightrope walk could trip up a much better, more established series (it's tripped up The X-Files on occasion) and the episode spends the whole runtime falling over it.

"Where's Captain Janeway?"
"Let's keep our references contemporary Jimmy."

Nowhere is this more apparent than in the final minutes of the episode, where it feels like the whole thing could use a rewrite. The fact that Wash is the man behind everything and that there's another prisoner who is actually innocent are established in the space of about 2 minutes, and then it's time to rush to the finale. And then the final moments are even worse, literally jumping from the prisoner celebrating his release to Douglas' execution and his mom sobbing about it over the course of an edit. The former could have been solved by introducing the idea that there is a mastermind and another innocent prisoner suffering much earlier, but the latter needed the episode to pick one of those two endings and stick with it.

And if they were gonna stick with one, it should have been the more serious one, because that's the stuff that works in this episode. The episode works when it's being dark and moody, just inserting comedically slanted characters into it to enhance the horror of prison. And that plotline, especially Douglas' part in it, is pretty solid. The twist works, Douglas doesn't arrive on screen until the final few minutes, but he's got a good screen presence, and I like that the episode doesn't have him turn Wash in because it's the right thing to do, but because he's pissed that Wash tried to have him whacked. That feels in character for a contract killer.

Less successful is the comedy stuff, which there's just enough of to keep the episode from being serious enough for its plot to land. Outside of the fairly amusing opening with the Elvis impersonator (guy who plays Jimmy is a decent singer) the episode mostly relies on Yves to be the comedy vessel and while she acquits herself nicely, the actual comedy is pretty thin and mostly consists of dude's drooling over her. And frankly, the fact that she just wanders into the plot out of nowhere at the midpoint is distracting and makes me think that they should just have Yves be an official member.

Yves' sudden arrival, along with a handful of other things (like Frohike and Langly doing some further investigating or trying to sneak something to Beyers) happening offscreen makes me feel like the episode was cut down from a longer, and probably darker, script. I have no proof of that, behind the scenes material on this show is virtually nonexistent, but that's the feeling I get, and until this series gets a lavish blu-ray release with director's commentary on every episode, my gut is all I've got to go on. But if they wanna make that blu-ray, I will buy it.

"Hey Jimmy, I'm a completely uncritical recreation of a deeply uncomfortable trope, how are you?"

But before we go, I feel like I should address the "Serious Subject" aspect of this episode. Or rather the lack of it, because outside of one line, the episode isn't really interested in doing the "Horrors of the American Prison System" thing, and I'm actually okay with that. Despite the presence of Vince Gilligan in the credits, this is not Breaking Bad. And while the show pays occasional lip service to the idea that the characters are brave journalists fighting for the truth, in reality they're three geeks and their jock friend who do shit like break onto a cruise ship cause they think the Elvis impersonator is really Elvis. Asking them to address the horrors of our prison system is veering dangerously close to Very Special Episode territory and that isn't something any of us want to see The Lone Gunmen do.

There's a joke in the beginning of this episode that sending its characters to prison is something a show does when it runs out of ideas around the 4th or 5th season. And while that might be a joke at The X-Files' expense (although I'd argue it was still firing on all cylinders in the 5th season) it also feels a little sad looking back from 20 years later. We'll never know what The Lone Gunmen would look like if managed a four or five season run, what ideas it would come up with more time to play around with concepts, much less what ideas it would use when the bucket began to run dry. And maybe I'm just really emotionally strained after a year of quarantine, but that somehow made me sad.

Case Notes:

• I like the lady flirting with Frohike on the cruise ship. The idea that Frohike is a casanova for some unexplained reason is a good one, and I wish the series would do more with it.
• Not sure why or how Jimmy decided to do the Groucho in the Mirror bit with Elvis, but the cut back to Elvis being old is funny and Jimmy apologizing before he gets zapped is also decent.
• I gotta say, the Gunmen deciding to go harass some poor Elvis impersonator on a cruise is in character, hilarious and deeply sad.
• The fact that the fake Elvis is a black guy doing white face because he's on the lam is...odd? It's odd.
• Jimmy seems so happy with his fake Elvis wig, even if he does lose it between shots.
• "Call me crazy but I'm starting to think Elvis is actually dead." Heh.
• The Lone Gunmen having an honest to god fangirl is instantly comic, and the actress is playing it without a hint of irony.
• Apparently the Lone Gunmen started writing 12 years before this episode (which is set in 2001) which lines up with Unusual Suspects.
• I've mentioned this before, but I don't remember these episodes super great. The setup for this episode (that the Lone Gunmen's fan's son is refusing to fight his execution) could be a setup for either something really dark about our criminal justice system (sorta an X-Files-y Thin Blue Line) but I doubt that's the case. After the end of the episode, I can say I was right.
• Ben Franklin is the one who said "Better 100 guilty men go free than 1 innocent man suffer," (and it's actually originally a concept set down by a guy named William Blackstone) but Beyers attributes it to Jefferson to set up Jimmy to make a The Jeffersons reference.
• The episode pulls out the "Beyers the idealist vs. Frohike/Langly the realists" so rarely that it feels abrupt here. It's a good character dynamic though, and Beyers sells it.
• They can't even try to make the outdoor sets look like Texas.
• I feel like asking the people who were already witnesses for the prosecution what happened is not gonna work out for Langly and Frohike.
• Heh, Langly and Frohike are staying the Sam Houston Motor Lodge. Cute.
• Beyers and Jimmy shouldn't have been the ones who go into the prison, they're both ridiculously self sacrificing, they both jumped to "Get the shit kicked out of me to get into infirmary" too fast.
• Hoooooooooooooooooboy do I not like Jimmy declaring that Beyers is his "Bitch" do not like that at all.
• The actress playing Yves does some really excellent stuff here acting like a different person when she's sneaking into the prison. Decent southern accent too.
• The scene with Yves and Jimmy at the prison is really funny, Yves annoyance and Jimmy's obliviousness are highly entertaining.
• The scene with Douglas is unexpectedly intense and I like the reveal that this is a land grab and Douglas is a hitman.
• Not really sure Atherton needs to be a mystical black prisoner.
• The eye thing Jimmy has is pure fantasy in 2001, probably still is to some degree.
• The episode gets a lot of mileage out of the gap in knowledge between characters, especially between Beyers and Jimmy.
• I really like Yves and Frohike's interactions, they still make an appealing double act.
• "I gotta trust people, until they prove to me I can't" is a good summary of Jimmy's character.
• I'm sorry, Atherton wants to run a roach rescue?
• As always, these reviews are supported by my Patreon. Check it out so I too can continue to be a crusading journalist. And harass Elvis impersonators.

Current Celebrity Watch:

The guy who played Douglas is Darren Burrows, who played Ed Chiglak on Northern Exposure. If that sounds vaguely familiar it's because he was in an X-Files episode previously (Monday specifically) and I failed to notice it. I'm gonna be honest with you, almost all of the actors in this episode were in one episode of The X-Files or another.

On that note, one of the prisoners is played by Mark Acheson, an incredibly prolific voice actor (and regular actor, he was on Fargo). The role I want to bring attention to is RoboCop: Alpha Commando, partially because I want to remind people that RoboCop got an animated cartoon and partially because one of his costars was Dean Haglund, IE Langly. And yes, he was in two episodes of The X-Files, Quagmire and one of the reboot episodes.

Future Celebrity Watch:

The dancer who flirts with Frohike is an uncredited Erica Durance, who first rose to prominence as Lois Lane on Smallville. She's been in other stuff since, notably Saving Hope and Supergirl. I've never really watched any of those, so I can't say how good she is in them. She's probably the only actor in this episode who wasn't in an episode of The X-Files though.

Audio Observations:

This episode contains two Elvis songs, Hound Dog in the opening (sung by Jimmy) and Jadilhouse Rock over the epilogue. And no, I don't count Jailhouse Rock being played as the Elvis stuff in the cold open coming back into the episode.