Case 11, File 07: Rm9sbG93ZXJz

AKA: Apparently The Title Means "Followers" In Base 64 Code. Yes Wikipedia Told Me That

One of the most maligned episodes of the early X-Files was Ghost in the Machine, and rightly so. While it had the germ of a good idea (a haunted house where the house is an alive computer) the execution and style left a LOT to be desired. But honestly, in the nearly 30 years since that episode first aired, it's only felt more and more prescient, as elements of the internet and AI infect every single aspect of our lives. So maybe it might be worst idea to take another swing at the Evil AI concept.

Our episode kicks off (after a quick cold open monologue about that one chatbot that got turned into a Nazi by the internet) with Mulder and Scully going to a fully AI run sushi restaurant on a date. Of course, this goes about as well as you can expect a fully AI run sushi restaurant to go, and Mulder is served a whole blobfish. He tries to return it and finds that there's no option for that. So he tries to just pay and leave, without tipping, which causes the restaurant to uh, lock them in.

They eventually get out, but Mulder is forced to leave his credit card behind and when Scully gets in her automated Uber, it drives off without Mulder, moving WAY too fast. Mulder, meanwhile, decides to drive home in his own car, but his GPS brings him back to the restaurant. He decides not to think too much of this, and just drives home with a normal map. Back at Scully's place, she's gotten home, but her AI security system is causing her issues.

Mulder spends some time trying to cancel his credit card, but has trouble with the automated system, and also winds up getting stalked by some drones, one of which he busts with a bat. Scully, meanwhile, gets an AI controlled roomba from a drone and also starts getting skeeved out when Amazon knows the details of what stuff she's run out of, when the roomba picks up some of said stuff when she drops it. Understandably so. So she also gets on the phone with an automated customer service to return it, and gets the runaround.

Back at Mulder's house, the drone problem is getting worse and he decides to bolt and go to Scully's. Scully's high tech house, meanwhile, is going haywire locking her in, she's being stalked by the AI car from earlier and her fridge is firing ice cubes at her. So she's having a bad night. Mulder gets there and gets her out just in time before a series of accidents from her AI house cause an explosion.

"Scully, did we come here because you thought I'd freak out and break something? Scully? Scully!"

They decide to try and run to the neighbors, but the neighbors also have a doorbell cam and the AI erases them from it, so they don't come to the door. So they ditch their electronics and run next door to the...electronics manufacturing plant? Jesus what's up with this neighborhood. Anyway, they run inside but, surprise, in a day where they're getting stalked by electronics, a plant where they make electronics is not safe.

So they spend a bit of time running around the factory getting menaced by 3d printed bullets and those weird fucking robot dogs until they're cornered...at which point another robot shows up with Mulder's phone, asking him to tip the sushi restaurant again (which has been happening all episode) and Mulder finally does. And so the episode ends with Mulder and Scully at a diner, paying in cash and just enjoying each other's company.

Rm9sbG93ZXJz (and yes I am just copy/pasting that, I am not typing that out) is both a message episode and, perhaps more importantly, a gimmick episode. Neither of those things are negatives; The X-Files has had a few message episode and honestly, it has a LOT of gimmick episodes. So I guess our assessment of the episode will have to rest on how good the gimmick is and how well the message is conveyed. Almost like a review.

Ohhhhh that's not creepy at all.

The gimmick is one that's pretty obvious from the start; Outside of the cold open, the episode is a silent episode, at least as far as dialogue goes. It's not totally silent, Mulder and Scully say about a couple dozen words a piece, but for most part the episode is silent, very little dialogue and most of its story communicated through character actions. And honestly, as gimmicks go, that one is pretty solid. By cutting out secondary characters and isolating our heroes, it allows them to just silently exist as Mulder and Scully, seeing how they exist on their own terms.

The message, on the other hand, is about as subtle as a brick to the face; We gotta treat AI well. Everything from the plot of the episode, to dialogue at the beginning and end to the music choices keep hammering away at this. I think it's honestly because the rest of the episode doesn't really line up with it. Mulder and Scully don't really treat the AI particularly badly, just a little short when they do a bad job. Maybe they could learn to be a bit nicer to service workers, but if they're going to spend the entire episode being tormented by AI, maybe they could be a bit worse to them?

Honestly, there are several bits where the story and the theme don't really totally gel, and that ties into the gimmick too. At first it seems like the silent gimmick is going to be a tortured metaphor about how we need to put down our phones and talk to each other, and while it does try to do that the end, the problem is that for that to work, they need to break with the gimmick at the end, and they don't. Maybe it's the filthy shipper in me, but the vibe I get is more that Mulder and Scull can communicate without words, especially when you add in the (still silent) final scene.

Honestly, outside of those two elements, there's not a hell of a lot to say. You can't really talk about the dialogue or secondary characters because there aren't any. The direction is fine, especially in the section where Mulder and Scully are on their own, although I do feel it loses control of the tone in the final third and stumbles into "Goofy" without ever precisely finding "Comedic." Oh and Anderson and Duchovny are great, but we all knew that.

I'm glad the X-Files agrees those robot dogs are evil.

Honestly, I feel like the episode tries to do a bit too much, and ends up swinging at elements it never really works with. Despite devoting its beginning and denouncement to the idea that we have to be nice to AI, there's a lot of time devoted to how much tech companies invade our lives, and honestly that feels like a much better story in that. Hell you could even tie them together; After all, if AI are alive, aren't they too exploited by capitalism.

But regardless of what I think about it, the core question of how much you like a gimmick episode will come down to how well you vibe with the gimmick. Sure every so often the gimmick makes the episode become one of the best of the series (like Fly for Breaking Bad or Pillows and Blankets for Community) but overall it's just a different style for the show you like. And I do vibe with the silent gimmick for this episode, it's creative enough to be entertaining without me wishing more of the show was like this.

Case Notes:

• Mulder seems too paranoid to actually use a fully AI sushi restaurant.
• Mulder getting served a whole blobfish is a good joke.
• I really like the car driving off without Mulder. Mulder looks so fed up.
• The UI on Scully's self driving car is really freaky, it reminds me a lot of the robot from Moon.
• I get that the episode is making a point about being too reliant on AI (with the subtly of a bat to the face) but I feel like Mulder should have realized his directions weren't taking him home.
• The red eyes in the back of the kitchen at the sushi place are VERY solid, nice use of the theme.
• We haven't seen much of Scully's house in this season, but it being way more modern and connected than Mulder makes sense, especially since Mulder lives in a paranoia shack in the middle of nowhere.
• Queequeg is Scully's security passcode, I love it.
• Mulder should make sure people know his property is a no-drone zone. I know it wouldn't save him in this case, but if I owned an out of the way paranoia cabin, I definitely wouldn't allow drones.
• Scully's AI picking up on her being out of hair stuff is very viscerally disturbing, since it taps into the kind of paranoia I've felt.
• The desire to hit a drone that's invading your privacy with a bat is another instinct I've had.
• Scully getting a roomba does make sense for her (she's fastidious) but I would still be suspicious of it's timing and method of arrival.
• Mulder is getting stalked by drones and his own laptop while Scully has to try and return something, who knows who's suffering more?
• I will say the laptop asking Mulder direct existential questions is kind of breaking the vibe the AI has been working on. Less "Misguided AI" and more "Serial killer."
• With the shift to the drone swarm and Scully's fridge firing ice cubes at her, the episode has shifted from creepy to goofy.
• The sequence of events that lead to the explosion are solid (and I like Scully using the poker to break the glass) but the explosion looks so fake.
• It takes them an inordinate amount of time to dump their phones.
• Being stalked by the AI car is where the whole episode feels like it's been building to, but they keep being afraid to pull that trigger.
• I always found those robot dogs creepy, so seeing my favorite show agree with me is gratifying, as is Mulder kicking one down the stairs.
• The final act of this episode is so goofy it's hard to take seriously, so I don't even mind Mulder stating the theme of the episode aloud.
• As always, these reviews are supported by my Patreon. Check it out so I can afford to design an AI to do these reviews for me.

Audio Observations:

The song Mulder's phone plays for him when he asks for Prince is Teach Your Children by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. It's very famous song, and a decent one I guess, but it's not really what I'm into.