Case 05, File 09: Schizogeny

AKA: There Is Unrest In The Forest, There Is Trouble With The Trees

One of the greatest temptations when it comes to reviewing these episodes is when an episode doesn't work, I get the temptation to talk about rewriting it, and that's not what this blog is about. It's usually not that much of a temptation, since much of the lesser episodes would require a complete teardown and reworking, but sometimes, sometimes, you can see how just a few small shuffling around of elements could make an episode so much better and you just want to rewrite it.



Our episode opens with an Angsty 90s Teen (trademark) getting yelled at by his stepfather for being lazy and leaving a shovel out and the Angsty 90s Teen (who I will be calling Bobby, because that's his name) runs out into the woods. When his stepfather follows, he sinks into the mud and dies. Mulder and Scully get called in because...I actually don't recall why, but they're here now. The police think Bobby did it but Mulder thinks otherwise cause he gotta.

After interviewing Bobby, who says he hated his stepfather but didn't kill him, and his mom, who says that it looked like Bobby was trying to save his stepdad, Mulder and Scully check out the big hole the dad sunk into (and determine it is, in fact, a big hole) and are also watched by a mysterious man with an ax. They decide the best course of action is to go talk to his therapist Karin, who says that Bobby was abused and that she was teaching him to stand up for himself.

Meanwhile, at school, Bobby bothers a Goth 90s Teen (trademark) named Lisa and also threatens to murder some bullies who confront him because this was pre-Columbine and that wasn't in bad taste yet. This freaks Lisa out, but when she heads home she fights with her dad over Bobby and he is...immediately yanked out a window by something. Lisa and Bobby are both suspected but Mulder notices the glass on the inside and Scully finds a splinter in Lisa's dad's neck, causing Mulder to suspect...the trees. Cause he's Mulder, obviously.

"Man high school sucks. I can't wait till I'm banging Caroline Dhavernas."

After checking out the tree and being told by the mysterious man with the ax (who is still hanging around) that the blight that is affecting the trees is being caused by a very bad man, Lisa goes to stay with Karin in preparation for her aunt coming to get her. Mulder learns that Karin's father died under similar circumstances to Bobby's stepfather and begins to get suspicious, even more so when they dig up Karin's father and find his body replaced by roots. Meanwhile, Lisa goes down into Karin's basement after hearing her fighting with someone and discovers a corpse.

Okay so here's where it goes sideways, bear with me: Lisa's aunt arrives and is killed by a root and it turns out Karin has a split personality, one of which is her father (who was abusive) and also has the power to control the trees? They never quite bridge that gap because it's time for the thrilling finale, in which Mulder groks what's going on and talks to Bobby, who admits his father wasn't abusive. He goes to confront Karin, who has gone to confront Bobby (did they pass on the road?) and succumbs to the father personality. Mulder urges her to fight back, leading to the thrilling conclusion where...the dude with the ax cuts her head off. Oh well, Mulder waxes philosophic about the nature of abuse, credits.

Schizogeny is one of my favorite types of episodes to examine in that it's clear to anyone who looks at it that the episode just does not work, but the reasons why aren't exactly clear. It's got a lot of good elements, and the concept is solid on the face, especially in how it explores the cycle of abuse, but the story never comes together. And now I get to take you on a long journey to explain why.

"Mulder, how did a body travel several miles, underground, only by root systems."
"I'm not worried about details Scully."

The first element that I think contributes to the episode's downfall is the desire to push the reveal of what's going on with Karin to a third act twist (which is a problem several episodes have). There's a lot of neat elements to it that I'd love to see explored but the episode pushes the reveal to so late that they don't have any time for them. Does she have a split personality or is she possessed by her father's spirit? We hear her getting yelled at by the alternate personality, I'd love to see that explored. Also she's supposedly got the personality of her abuser but she's still attacking people she thinks are abusers, what? But the episode doesn't have time, so we just bolt to the conclusion.

That conclusion represents another big letdown, and not just in that the dude who puts down the villain wanders in out of nowhere (after about 90 seconds of screen time) to bring the episode to a close. No, it's also because the Orchard Man (which is what Mulder calls him cause he never gets a name) seems like he might have been an interesting character, since he seems to know about the supernatural goings on and what's responsible, but as stated, he only gets 90 seconds of screen time so he's just there to drop some exposition and then an ax. We get more out of Bobby's stepdad.

As I said, it's always a struggle not to rewrite the lesser episodes but this episode really needed to pick whether to focus on Karin and her struggle with abuse or the weirder, more conceptual plot of the Orchard Man and his generational struggle with Karin's father. Trying to do both just leaves them both under served and unable to resolve naturally. I understand why they tried to do both (the Orchard Man plot is more suspenseful and X-Files-y, while the abuse plot has more thematic stuff and a greater emotional resonance) but that doesn't mean the episode as a whole is better served by trying to do both.

"Don't worry Bobby, I'm sure a secondary character will be along to save us any moment."

And it's a shame because unlike a lot of bad X-Files episodes, I don't think the concept is inherently bad (and let's be honest: The X-Files has made a lot of great episodes out of some pretty bad sounding concepts). Karin's plot conceptually has a lot of power in the way that it makes the cycle of abuse very very literal. Killer trees are a tough sell, but they figure out a unique way to go about it (the Aunt's death aside) and the visual of the stepfather being sucked into the ground is a pretty solidly nightmarish visual, as is the more comically presented by still freaky visual of how much dirt the stepdad has swallowed.

What exactly constitutes a bad episode of The X-Files is a difficult question to answer, since so much of the series is based off personal taste. A recent poll of the fans to determine the best episode ended with an episode winning because it was able to grab a plurality of voters who were shippers (like me, but that doesn't override all of my other concerns). And one of the vectors by which I measure an episode is it's entertainment value. And can I really give a negative review to an episode from which I extract so much amusement watching it collapse?

Yes. Yes I can.

Case Notes:

• I have absolutely no idea what game the Angsty Teen is playing in the cold open, but it reminded me what 90s graphics looked like, so it amused me.
• The father is getting mad at his kid for never doing anything...while also getting mad at him for leaving a tool out? But that means he was doing something? Episode?
• The episode has no idea how (and no time) to escalate the conflict properly so it just jumps from 20 to 100 in 3 seconds.
• Knowing how the episode turns out makes the random appearance of the woodsman in the cold open where Bobby is running through the woods kinda funny. 
• The autopsy scene is some solid Mulder/Scully banter and I love it, even if it's mostly exposition. I do like Mulder pointing out that the stepdad had about a foot and 100 pounds on the kid though.
• "Ich bin ein Berliner" does actually mean "I am a Berliner," Mulder, you should know better than that. However, "Ich bin ein Auslander" however more directly translates to "I am a foreigner." Outsider is Außenseiter, which is pronounced similarly but...I am overthinking this cause I'm learning German, I'm sorry.
• I like the episode trying to keep things a little ambiguous about what happened at the beginning, like who's telling the truth or what Bobby wanted to do. More stuff like that and less of what followed would have made the episode better.
• The woodsman gets so much talk in the early parts of the episode, you forget how little he actually contributes to the plot until its final minutes.
• I like the girlfriend character, I wish she got more screen time.
• Bobby is a pretty accurate depiction of an angsty teenager, in that he's completely obnoxious.
• The scene where the dad gets pulled out the window reminds me of Poltergeist. I really don't know what else to add there.
• I like Mulder reassembling the smiley face in the glass. It's a nice character beat.
• Lisa's performance is like 80 percent body language, which means she crosses her arms a lot.
• Mulder doesn't start thinking things are really weird until the middle but that begs the question: How did Mulder and Scully get called in on this one? Or am I overthinking it again?
• The corner missed the (pretty obvious splinter) in the dead guy's neck. I feel like that's pretty important, no?
• "Is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all." I love Mulder and Scully banter, and this episode is chock full of it.
• Mr. Woodsman, I'm gonna tell you, lurking behind an FBI Agent with an ax is an excellent way to get shot.
• Look Lisa, I don't want to tell you your business, but snooping around mysterious houses is exactly how you get killed in horror movies.
• I do get that Karin wouldn't mention that her father died the same way as Bobby's dad, but I am amused by her asking if Mulder has been taken in by a flight of fancy. Lady, Mulder believes everything.
• Karin basically waves a sign at Lisa's aunt that says "I am up to no good." Seriously, act better lady.
• Lisa's aunt getting a root through the chest is actually one of the better bits in the episode.
• The woodsman doesn't even get a name. Mulder just keeps calling him "Orchard Man."
• Mulder tosses the theory that nature is attacking the parents on behalf of the kids, and Scully is just like "Fine, whatever, this isn't even top 5 of your craziest theories."
• Karin tries to lock Mulder and Scully in the cellar but Mulder and Scully are strong adults, and also have guns, so nice try.
• I'll give the episode this, it does manage to make "Tree falls in front of the car" into what feels like a legit threat.
• One of the better moments in the episode is the part where Karin has her freakout at Bobby's house. It's the only time we get any real conflict from Karin, like she's actually having an internal fight. Bobby confronting her is also good, and I do like how the actress actually manages to differentiate the two personalities, but there's no time in the episode to do anything with it.
• Mulder and Bobby are pretty much fucked but then a tertiary character comes in out of nowhere and hacks her head off and the episode just sort of ends.
• "We didn't really follow through on any of our established themes." "Eh just have Duchovny do some monologuing, he's great at monologuing."
• As always, these reviews are supported by my Patreon. Tune in so I can...do...something? I dunno, I'm pretty tired so I'm not at my best right now.

Future Celebrity Watch:

Lisa is played by Katharine Isabelle, a talented actress who spends most of her time wandering around in underrated horror flicks, from playing the titular character in the Ginger Snaps series, to playing the lead in the uneven but interesting horror movie American Mary. She also recently played Margot Verger on Hannibal, which was quite an entertaining show when it was on the air.