AKA: Yo, Excuse Me, Willennium
Despite being, rather self evidently, a big fan of The X-Files, I'd never really engaged with Chris Carter's other works. Maybe it was that I didn't really perceive him as the main force behind what I loved about The X-Files, maybe it was just sloth, but I just never watched most of the other stuff he worked on. This is a long form way of me saying, I've never watched Millennium and have no idea of its plot leading up to here.
Our episode opens with the funeral of an FBI agent who killed himself, with a guy there named Mr. Johnson, who says he worked with the deceased. And apparently knew him pretty well well, because when everyone leaves, he pulls off the dead guy's clothes and leaves a cellphone in the coffin. And then, a couple days later on December 29th, 1999 (dun dun DUN) he gets a call from that phone and goes to dig the guy up.
This attracts the attention of Mulder and Scully, who find the dead guy's fingerprints on the gravestone and a weird circle in goat blood, so when Skinner asks Mulder what he thinks it is, Mulder jumps straight to necromancy, which is honestly on Skinner, he should have seen coming, that's on Skinner. Skinner says the symbol is that of the Millennium Group (a shadowy group that used to do consulting on murders or something?) and that it's been found at the graves of three other FBI Agents whose graves have been robbed in the last few days. And he knows someone they can contact to help.
The person turns out to be Frank Black, a brilliant former FBI Agent who used to work for the Millennium Group and has recently checked himself into a mental hospital. But when they go to him for help, he turns them down cause he's watching football and tells them something mildly cryptic. Back in the middle of nowhere, Mr. Johnson is trying to fix a flat tire when a cop comes along him and his dead body, but the dead body comes to life and kills the cop, while Mr. Johnson protects himself in a circle of salt.
Mulder and Scully find the dead guy the next morning, with his lips stapled shut and his mouth packed with salt, as well as a quote from Revelations. The quote however corresponds to the cryptic thing Frank said and so they head back to talk to him. Turns out he went to the mental hospital because people think he's crazy for believing in weird conspiracy nonsense and he's trying to get custody of his daughter back. Mulder skips over the quiet warning that everyone will think he's nuts and convinces him to help.
The person turns out to be Frank Black, a brilliant former FBI Agent who used to work for the Millennium Group and has recently checked himself into a mental hospital. But when they go to him for help, he turns them down cause he's watching football and tells them something mildly cryptic. Back in the middle of nowhere, Mr. Johnson is trying to fix a flat tire when a cop comes along him and his dead body, but the dead body comes to life and kills the cop, while Mr. Johnson protects himself in a circle of salt.
Mulder and Scully find the dead guy the next morning, with his lips stapled shut and his mouth packed with salt, as well as a quote from Revelations. The quote however corresponds to the cryptic thing Frank said and so they head back to talk to him. Turns out he went to the mental hospital because people think he's crazy for believing in weird conspiracy nonsense and he's trying to get custody of his daughter back. Mulder skips over the quiet warning that everyone will think he's nuts and convinces him to help.
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| "Look, I know you have to be in the casket, Mr. Burns and Smithers style, but you don't have to be naked." "I don't HAVE to be, I WANT to be." |
Turns out the Millennium Group got this necromancer to help by resurrecting 4 people to be the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse, the Apocalypse will start in the year 2000 and he prepared the cop's body the way he did so that it wouldn't come back to life. Mulder goes to look for the necromancer's house with Frank's profile, while Scully tries to warn the coroner not to do the autopsy. But she's too late and the cop comes back to life, attacking the coroner and eventually Scully, but the necromancer returns and kills it. No I'm not totally clear on why either, just go with it.
Mulder finds his house, breaks in and sneaks into the basement because Mulder makes bad decisions. There he find the zombies who attack him and he also gets locked in the basement but manages to make a protective ring of salt. Meanwhile, Frank gets a call and checks himself out while Skinner and Scully go looking for Mulder, but Frank arrives at the necromancer's house, apparently to help him by being the 4th horsemen, since Mulder shot one of them. But Frank is actually still a good guy, and he goes downstairs, killing two of the zombies but running out of ammo before Scully shows up to kill the 4th. And with that, Frank gets his daughter back, the new millennium comes without an apocalypse and Mulder and Scully kiss to ring in the new year. Aw.
Millennium is a well liked episode by the fans for exactly one reason, and that's the kiss at the end. It's possible it works as a finale for the show Millennium but given that my experience of that show is half an episode, once, something like 15 years ago, big chunks of the episode were pretty much a mystery to me. On the other hand, talking with some friends of mine who did watch Millennium, apparently the Four Horseman zombies wasn't something they set up there, so maybe I was doomed either way.
I'll tell you one thing watching Millennium could have provided for me, and that's an attachment to Frank Black. I have no knowledge of him or his arc so when the episode just throws him up on screen like I'm supposed to know who he is, it feels extremely abrupt. He doesn't get enough screen time in the early parts of this episode for me to feel an attachment to him as a single episode character either, but he does solve all the problems, pointing Mulder to the necromancer's house and then saving him from the zombies (even if Scully gets the final shot). He seems to be stuck in this weird middle ground where I don't know him well enough to care about him as a major character, but his part is too big for him to just be a one episode character.
Mulder finds his house, breaks in and sneaks into the basement because Mulder makes bad decisions. There he find the zombies who attack him and he also gets locked in the basement but manages to make a protective ring of salt. Meanwhile, Frank gets a call and checks himself out while Skinner and Scully go looking for Mulder, but Frank arrives at the necromancer's house, apparently to help him by being the 4th horsemen, since Mulder shot one of them. But Frank is actually still a good guy, and he goes downstairs, killing two of the zombies but running out of ammo before Scully shows up to kill the 4th. And with that, Frank gets his daughter back, the new millennium comes without an apocalypse and Mulder and Scully kiss to ring in the new year. Aw.
Millennium is a well liked episode by the fans for exactly one reason, and that's the kiss at the end. It's possible it works as a finale for the show Millennium but given that my experience of that show is half an episode, once, something like 15 years ago, big chunks of the episode were pretty much a mystery to me. On the other hand, talking with some friends of mine who did watch Millennium, apparently the Four Horseman zombies wasn't something they set up there, so maybe I was doomed either way.
I'll tell you one thing watching Millennium could have provided for me, and that's an attachment to Frank Black. I have no knowledge of him or his arc so when the episode just throws him up on screen like I'm supposed to know who he is, it feels extremely abrupt. He doesn't get enough screen time in the early parts of this episode for me to feel an attachment to him as a single episode character either, but he does solve all the problems, pointing Mulder to the necromancer's house and then saving him from the zombies (even if Scully gets the final shot). He seems to be stuck in this weird middle ground where I don't know him well enough to care about him as a major character, but his part is too big for him to just be a one episode character.
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| "Mulder, I can't believe I have to say this again, but don't eat crime scene evidence." |
It also has the issue where it kind of splits its coverage a bit. The story could work as just the story of a random necromancer who wants to end the world, but it has to keep stopping and bringing up the Millennium Group to tie it in with the show, which always feels abrupt. And it's a shame, because the necromancer is an interesting character, from how regretful he seems of the cop getting killed to his earnest pleading to Frank to let the world end. A story more focused on him, how he got into necromancy or giving him more motivation beyond "Working for the Millennium Group" would make for a stronger episode, even if it would mean the episode can't be a finale for Millennium.
But is Millennium actually a good finale for Millennium (that sentence was confusing, but you know what I mean). When I was younger and I found out this was a finale for another show, I assumed the necromancer was a recurring character, that it was tying up plot threads, but no, the only thread that this episode ties up from the show is Frank getting his daughter back, which is nice but that seems kind of weak. I guess that's the risk of putting the ending of your show in another show, you can't rely too heavily on stuff from the show you're ending or your audience will get confused.
So with the finale of another show stuff out of the way, I guess the only question left is how does it function as an episode of The X-Files, and the answer is, it's kind of middling. The series has explored so many weird and off the wall monsters, that just generic zombies seems kind of quaint, even if they are the four horsemen of the apocalypse in some undefined way. Maybe I would feel more generous towards zombies as villains if I hadn't lived through the 2000s and watched culture as a whole beat zombies, as a concept, into the ground and thus gotten sick of them, but I did so I don't know what else to do.
Mulder and Scully's relationship here is the saving grace, and yeah, it's nice that they finally get to have a kiss that isn't interrupted by a fucking bee. By this point in the series, someone on the writing staff has realized what a huge chunk of their fanbase are ride-or-die Mulder/Scully shippers, and seem to be leaning into that. It's something I'm of two minds about, and we'll discuss it more in later episodes, but for now, on the one hand I do think it's kind of fan pandering, but on the other, I'm one of those fans so I do kind of just enjoy it.
The point of a crossover, broadly speaking, is to get new fans to both things, to get people to check out the thing that's being crossed over with and by that metric, at least for me, Millennium (the episode) is a dismal failure, as I've never once felt compelled to go check it out. Maybe at some point I'll fix that or maybe I won't; Having to have your series finale in a completely unrelated show is not exactly putting your best foot forward. So maybe there's a reason why The X-Files has endured for nearly 2 decades after it originally ended, and a reason why Millennium (the show) has been resigned to the dust bin of history.
But is Millennium actually a good finale for Millennium (that sentence was confusing, but you know what I mean). When I was younger and I found out this was a finale for another show, I assumed the necromancer was a recurring character, that it was tying up plot threads, but no, the only thread that this episode ties up from the show is Frank getting his daughter back, which is nice but that seems kind of weak. I guess that's the risk of putting the ending of your show in another show, you can't rely too heavily on stuff from the show you're ending or your audience will get confused.
So with the finale of another show stuff out of the way, I guess the only question left is how does it function as an episode of The X-Files, and the answer is, it's kind of middling. The series has explored so many weird and off the wall monsters, that just generic zombies seems kind of quaint, even if they are the four horsemen of the apocalypse in some undefined way. Maybe I would feel more generous towards zombies as villains if I hadn't lived through the 2000s and watched culture as a whole beat zombies, as a concept, into the ground and thus gotten sick of them, but I did so I don't know what else to do.
Mulder and Scully's relationship here is the saving grace, and yeah, it's nice that they finally get to have a kiss that isn't interrupted by a fucking bee. By this point in the series, someone on the writing staff has realized what a huge chunk of their fanbase are ride-or-die Mulder/Scully shippers, and seem to be leaning into that. It's something I'm of two minds about, and we'll discuss it more in later episodes, but for now, on the one hand I do think it's kind of fan pandering, but on the other, I'm one of those fans so I do kind of just enjoy it.
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| "I thought you never miss Bishop." "How long you been holding onto that one?" |
The point of a crossover, broadly speaking, is to get new fans to both things, to get people to check out the thing that's being crossed over with and by that metric, at least for me, Millennium (the episode) is a dismal failure, as I've never once felt compelled to go check it out. Maybe at some point I'll fix that or maybe I won't; Having to have your series finale in a completely unrelated show is not exactly putting your best foot forward. So maybe there's a reason why The X-Files has endured for nearly 2 decades after it originally ended, and a reason why Millennium (the show) has been resigned to the dust bin of history.
Case Notes:
- This cold open takes a while to get going. It's like 2 full minutes before we find out the guy they're having a funeral for killed himself and even longer till the weird Mr. Johnson dude starts stealing his clothes.
- I gotta say, the dude getting a phone call from a phone that he buried with a corpse is a pretty solid hook.
- The conversation Scully has with the gravedigger is just flavor, but I like that he's REALLY concerned that people will think he buried someone when they're still alive.
- Also, nice subtle way to drop that the dead guy was FBI.
- I promise you I didn't plan for this episode, which has a lot of Christmas/New Years' dialogue to come out on Christmas Eve, but it's a nice perk.
- Scully is trying to come up with a mundane explanation for why the coffin is torn up and there's handprints, IE it was faked, but if you had time to do that, wouldn't you have time to just cover up your crime by reburying it?
- Skinner asks Mulder for his opinion and then rolls his eyes when Mulder comes up with necromancy. Look Skinner, you can't ask Mulder for his input and be surprised when you get crazy.
- Skinner begins spouting information about the Millennium Group and even before I knew this was another show's finale crammed into The X-Files, the fact that this major group had never been brought up before seemed weird to me.
- Lance Henriksen (who was the main character of Millennium) gets a big build up when he first shows up. He even gets a musical sting.
- Mulder intuits that January 1st 2000 is a big day for the Millennium group but what if they just thought the name sounded cool.
- I never thought about the time frame in which Mulder and Scully do a case, but I feel like 2 days is fast.
- Mulder eats the salt Mr. Johnson made his protective circle out of. Mulder has officially eaten crime scene evidence on more than one occasion.
- It's lucky that Mulder remembered Frank dropping the Revelation hint, I would have probably missed it. It's possible that I wouldn't have known he was telling the wrong score too, I don't know much about football.
- Frank is in a custody battle over his daughter because he believes in weirdo conspiracy theories, which is something I kinda wish happened more often in real life.
- Frank just describes the necromancer perfectly from very little information. Was that something he did a lot in his show, or is Mulder rubbing off on him?
- Scully actually got attacked by a zombie in a morgue and she's still gonna insist that nothing supernatural exists.
- Scully should know better than to shoot a zombie in the chest, come on, shoot 'em in the head.
- Mulder is surprised that he lost cell phone service in rural Maryland in 1999, meanwhile I lose service if I go north of the Merritt in Stamford (a city of 130,000) in 2019.
- Mulder finds a big bag of salt in a guy's garbage and decides that's probably cause enough to just climb his fence and enter his house. Oh Mulder, you have such contempt for the law.
- Mulder just descends into his suspect's basement and is immediately beset by zombies. Come on Mulder, you know better than that.
- Wait, hold up, didn't the zombie guy who kicked off the whole episode commit suicide by shooting himself in the head? How can shooting them in the head stop them then? Or am I overthinking it?
- I feel like Frank going to see the necromancer would land better if I'd seen Millennium at all and had a conception of him being a good guy.
- The zombies being the 4 Horseman of the Apocalypse is one of those plot points I don't totally get, but whatever.
- We get a few seconds of Dick Clark's New Year broadcast. For those of you not from the northeast coast, I want you to know: Every time you watch a Times Square New Year's Broadcast, most of the people in that crowd are either wearing diapers or have pissed on the wall. Olive Garden charges 3 digits for a table on New Years cause they have a bathroom.
- As always these reviews are supported by my Patreon. Check it out so I can afford to buy Christmas presents for my friends.
Current Celebrity Watch:
Frank Black is played by Lance Henricksen, who is not best known for his role as Frank Black on the television show Millenniun. Most people probably know him for playing Bishop in Aliens, although some of my fellow Mass Effect fans might know him as the voice of Admiral Hackett.
Also Dick Clark makes a 5 second appearance at the end. They used archive footage from 1998 to pretend it was the year 2000 celebration, but Dick Clark did have to do some VO work for it, so I'm counting it.
Future Celebrity Watch:
Future Oscar winner Octavia Spencer has a 3 second blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo in this episode. She wouldn't blow up for a few more years, and we're 11 years out from her Oscar winning performance in The Help. I'd just like to talk this moment to remind you that she was in The Shape of Water and that movie is great.
Future Oscar winner Octavia Spencer has a 3 second blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo in this episode. She wouldn't blow up for a few more years, and we're 11 years out from her Oscar winning performance in The Help. I'd just like to talk this moment to remind you that she was in The Shape of Water and that movie is great.
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