Case 03, File 24: Talitha Cumi

AKA: Ancient Aliens' Wet Dream

Honestly, part of the reason I prefer reviewing Monster of the Week episodes is that they have a wider variance of quality and interesting things to talk about. The Mythology episodes can be good and they can be bad, but they very rarely swing as high or as low as some of the Monster of the Week episodes, and I tend to have the same criticisms. I mean, I assume you're as tired of reading that an episode sets up the next one but spins its wheels too much as I am of writing it, but here we are.


Our episode opens with a man deciding that he wants to shoot up a fast food place and an old guy with a very calming voice trying to talk him down. It doesn't go super great and several people end up shot. But the old guy is having none of it and he heals them all with a touch. Mulder and Scully get called in (very fast, not sure how, don't much care), only to find that the guy who healed them, Jeremiah Smith, has scarpered.

Meanwhile, back at the older Mulder summer home in Rhode Island, Mulder's mom (whose first name is Teena, I suddenly remember) has a conversation with none other than the Cigarette Smoking Man, who asks her to remember something from they used to be close. But they're being photographed the whole time, and when Teena collapses of a stroke, Mulder is called back to the hospital in Rhode Island, where Teena writes "PALM" on a piece of paper, leading Mulder to think that it has something to do with Jeremiah Smith.

Jeremiah Smith is too busy being arrested at his job at the Social Security Admin by the Cigarette Smoking Man, who drags him off to jail so they can spend most of the rest of the episode having philosophical debates about the nature of free will, morality and having lost faith in the Project. Meanwhile, Mulder heads back up to his summer house and finds X hanging out there, having been spying on Teena and the CSM. He tells Mulder that the CSM was looking for something there, and Mulder searches the house, eventually deducing that PALM meant LAMP and smashing every lamp in the house (naturally) until he finds one of those needle things they use to kill aliens. Do they ever get a name?

"Why is our conversation suddenly getting more animated. It seems out of character."
"It's for the benefit of the audience who are now watching from a distance."

Anyhoo, Jeremiah Smith comes in to talk to Scully at the FBI about running away from the crime scene, where he tells them he doesn't remember, while somehow also at the prison telling the CSM he's dying of lung cancer. Mulder is a little suspicious about that though, so when he gets back he goes to see Smith at his work, but Smith bolts and disappears, before reappearing at the prison and revealing himself to be the Alien Bounty Hunter to kill Smith who has ALSO disappeared. Whew.

Mulder goes and has back to back confrontations at the hospital, first with CSM (who he openly blames for his mother's stroke, but who tells him they have a history together) and with X (who wants the needle thing and has a physical fight with Mulder when he refuses). Scully meanwhile is doing some research on the social security office and finds several identical Jeremiah Smiths. The 'Real' one, the one who healed those people, shows up at her door and tells her he has to talk to her and Mulder. But when they meet outside of town, the Alien Bounty Hunter immediately shows up and we get our To Be Continued.

The X-Files has a habit of closing and opening its season very strong, and this season is no exception. Talitha Cumi has its issues, but it does a good job of setting up its plot for the next episode and still being engaging and exciting as its own episode. Its a fine way to end a great season and even when I was younger (and didn't own the entire series), it left me excited for what's coming next.

"This is my hunch, and there's only one way to test it: Smashing every lamp in the house!"

The big central element that makes this episode stand out is, oddly enough, a simple conversation. The best and most memorable scenes are when the Cigarette Smoking Man and Jeremiah Smith are talking in the prison. Both actors sell the shit out of their roles, as do all the various people Smith changes into (such as Jerry Hardin's first appearance in forever) and it's one of the first time we really get a look into what the Cigarette Smoking Man feels and thinks. CSM is beginning to become less of a plot device and more a genuine character (which will really get started in the next season) and this episode really helps flesh him out into a real person.

But it's also a genuinely engaging conversation, even outside of the CSM's characterization. The details we get teased out about the Syndicate's plans (such as the fact that it's colonization and that the date has already been set for it) are enough to keep us all guessing for months. And maybe it's only because I'm such a pretentious nerd, but the Brothers Karamazov inspired philosophizing is really engaging. It mostly functions as extra characterization for the Cigarette Smoking Man, but it's a really entertaining way of framing it.

The rest of the episode isn't quite on that level, and it falls into the usual complaint about a two part X-Files episode spending most of its time setting up stuff for the next episode. But it works better than some others because it keeps the tension up. Mulder finding the needle thing is a genuinely ramping up of the stakes and the episode communicates it well, with X freaking out and attacking Mulder. And Teena falling into a coma, while a little on the contrived side, does give the episode a strong emotional undercurrent, as well as some opportunities for some good acting from Duchovny. And it bears saying, Roy Thinnes is great as Jeremiah Smith, his voice and demeanor

"Why did you attack me? You want the needle that much?"
"No, I've just always wanted to hit you, and I'm dying in the next episode, I won't get another chance."

The big issue is that the episode can't figure out what to do with Scully. The best X-Files episodes find a great balance between our leads, them bouncing off each other or each off on their own plot, but here Scully mostly just hangs out in DC while Mulder goes off and has his story. Sure she gets to briefly interview fake-Jeremiah, but he's mostly pointless too, just some padding which only introduces the Alien Bounty Hunter into the plot (and wouldn't him showing up out of nowhere been such a cool reveal? He hasn't been seen in over a season).

But that's a debatable flaw, the episode (and its follow up, as I recall) has a razor focus on Mulder and that helps give it its momentum. We may be mostly doing setup for our season 4 premier, but it's a well done setup that makes me excited to watch season 4, even years after watching it the first time. We're still well into The X-Files' golden age and we're about to hit what is probably my single favorite season, so I just want to get us going onto our next episode.

Can you believe I've done three full seasons of this shit?

Case Results:

• Best Episode: Jose Chung's From Outer Space
• Worst Episode: Teso Dos Bichos

Case Notes:

• If all the people just ignoring the random guy ranting to himself in a fast food place seems odd to you, trust me, as someone who lived in NYC, it happens, you just get used to it.
• I don't remember too much about this episode going in, but this cold open has stuck with me like glue. Just a great opening, mysterious and engaging.
• The post-credits opening pushes the religious aspect hard enough that I feel like they were almost considering a fakeout, but it's an X-Files season finale, we know going in, it has to be aliens.
• I'm not gonna lie, the first time I saw this episode, I had totally forgotten what Mulder's mom looked like, so the conversation between her and the Cigarette Smoking Man was very confusing until they told us who she was.
• The conversation between Mulder's mom and the Cigarette Smoking Man is appropriately mysterious, but I especially like the camera shifting in and out of focus based on the camera that's taking pictures. It's a gimmick, but it's a nice one.
• This episode is pretty dialogue heavy, so my notes might be kind of light. Still, Duchovny is giving a good performance.
• It's very lucky Jeremiah Smith decided to shift his face when there were people in front of the camera that was filming him.
• Maybe Scully should be a little more worried about Mulder being crazy intense about finding Jeremiah, since the last season finale, he got crazy intense and it turned out he was going crazy due to water poisoning.
• The Cigarette Smoking Man tracked down Jeremiah inside of 20 minutes. How did he do it? The episode doesn't care enough to tell you.
• If Mulder told Scully he was going back to his old summer home, she wouldn't let him go? What?
• X is also being appropriately mysterious, but he's also got a good sense of quiet intensity about him in the conversation with Mulder. I will miss him.
• How come it takes Mulder until it's dark to go back inside the summer house? Am I just nitpicking?
• Mulder is willing to smash every lamp in the summer house on a hunch. That's our Mulder.
• Would you believe me if I told you that the line about "Whoever can appease a man's conscience can take away his freedom" is a quote from The Brother's Karamazov?
• The bit with Mulder confronting Skinner and fake-Jeremiah getting away is mostly pointless, to give the episode some breathing room between the conversations between the Cigarette Smoking Man and Jeremiah.
• Duchovny looks genuinely haggard and exhausted towards the end of the episode, and the scene with his mom in the hospital is genuinely moving. He also does a good job selling his fury in the confrontation with the Cigarette Smoking Man. Good on the makeup department and good on Duchovny for the performance.
• The fight between X and Mulder is great. Between the last few episodes of emotional buildup, it feels real, and it's very well put together.
• "I have a long and complicated story to tell you." Come on X-Files, be better.
• And with our cliffhanger, we end Season 3. I can't imagine what it would have been like to wait for 3 months between seasons.
• As always, these reviews are supported by my Patreon. Please consider donating, I'd love to be able to devote more time to these reviews.

Current Celebrity Watch:

Jeremiah Smith is played by Roy Thinnes, a TV actor with literal decades of experience, including a main character role on the 1991 revival of  Dark Shadows and General Hospital. His most famous show is as the lead on The Invaders which is a show I feel like I watched once or twice but have no memories of.